Well....at least I'm on vacation

I came home last night with a fever, headache, and sore throat. I'm not sure what you guys gave me but it sucks.

I was supposed to work half a day today, but I called in sick instead. I still have to do my laundry, pack, finish wrapping presents and run some errands. I guess the silver lining on the cloud is that I won't have to go back to work for 10 days. I have a long list of folks I want to visit during my time off. I hope it works out and I don't offend anyone.

The ENTIRE family will be in town tonight. It has been a while since everyone gathered together in the same place. Our family has grown in the last couple of years. Most of my siblings are now married. I may end up sleeping in my car.

Merry Christmas everyone! Have a safe New Year--or at least don't get caught...and if you do get caught...you can call me, I'll bail you out.

Word Verifier: The Gathering

Week 13: Letters to "Lucky"

Lucky is one of my dearest friends. His whole life he was in the right place at the right time. Lucky is also well known in my family as someone who gets things done. This week, as a Christmas favor to all of you, he's opened his ears to your complaints. I stood up for you all and told him that my Blogger family was getting their asses chapped. He's agreed to do what he can. But just you remember this: Any disrespect shown to Lucky, is double disrespect shown to me--I stood for you, don't make me regret it!


Just to clarify, you don't HAVE to make a word or acronym. It doesn't have to be PER SE either. If you see a "u" and it turns out to be a "v" or if you look at your word and read it wrong, that's O.K. The point is to be creative and have fun, but also describe the first thing that comes to mind. This isn't a literary contest...it's a comedy contest!


Ready? GO!

First time visitors: The rules are simple. Go into my comments section, read your verification word and be creative. Each week I'll give just a bit of direction for the topic.

ENJOY!


J

My letter to Cingular

Dear Cingular,

I've been a 'valued customer' for three years now. I'd like to share a few things with you that have really rusted my pistol.

1. You're 'all-over network' isn't. Have you ever had a body float and need to call Frankie to bring the boat so you can put that squealer at the bottom of the Mighty Mississip? Well, 'all-over' must not include the Mississippi River.

2. When I miss a call and the caller leaves voice mail, my phone displays "1 New Voicemal. Call?" Only AFTER I say "no" does it display "1 Missed call. Call from 'Frankie Cell'". Well, how the fuck am I to know if I want to call my friggin voicemail if I don't know who its from? I mean, shit, voicemails are not all the same. The Boss's calls get returned within seconds, whereas Frankie, well, he likes to just waste my time (friggin rookie). He can wait.

3. While she sounds like a hot chick, that voicemail bitch wastes the fuck outta my time. When I go to my "messages" menu, I see Voicemail = 1. So I know I have one new voicemail message. When I call, this bimbo precedes to tell me "You have one new voicemail. The following message has not been heard" NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK! As if I was too stupid to see the fucking "1" on my menu, you have to have this broad tell me TWICE how many unread messages I have? Get to the fucking messages already!

4. Your competitors all have some form of unlimited text messaging--weather it be unlimited for $5/month like Cellular South or unlimted to "in" customers like Verizon. You, on the otherhand are stealing $20 a month just to get 2000 text messages. With all my neighbors on unlimited plans, I can get to 2000 pretty quick, so you start charging me $0.03 per message...that adds up fast, too. Ya cheap fuckin bastards.

Finally, I would like to wish all of you at Cingular Wireless a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May Santa see past your cheap acts and grant you stockings full of joy. May your New Year be prosperous. May you hire some programs who know what the fuck their doing and fix all my problems....cuz I know where you live and I have a bullet with your name on it!

Johnny "Clamps"

Freaking Cold

It's the price I chose to pay. I keep the A/C vents in my office wide open. In the summer, I get WAY too hot. Unfortunately, it is cold as HECK in here right now. I have my jacket on and my fingers are going numb.

This weekend was OUTSTANDING! Friday night I met up with some old friends and met some new friends. We had a few drinks and listened to a band. It was off the chain! I even shook my groove thing just a bit.

I spent the whole weekend out of town. Did some shopping, caught up on old times, ate WAY too much and just relaxed. It was what I needed.

I STILL haven't gotten any word on THE big thing we're all crossing our fingers for....I don't want to get pushy and call them back, but on the other hand, the anxiety is eating a hole in my stomach!

Happy Monday!

Short Days Suck Less

I've got the afternoon off. Now don't go get all hostile on me....I took a ½-day of vacation.

Today, I wish for luck and Karma. Some things lay before me that would make me a very happy hitman. I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to tell you all about it. If I did, it wouldn't hapen and I'd be miserable...that's usually the way it happens right? I'm doing my best to be my best and live a good life...just in case Santa has anything to do with it. Many of you know how unhappy I've been. For a brief moment, let me be selfish and ask you to wish me luck.

On another note...I want to say Merry Christmas to all my blog readers. I've added some festive decor to my template. To those of you who would get on soapboxes, let me ask you this: Would an atheist say "God Bless you"? Probalby not. Therefore, as a Christian, one who believes Jesus was the Son of God and was born to life and died for my sins, I say Mery Christmas. This is the season we, as Christians, chose to celebrate our Lord's birth, though many would say it is historically inacurate. I also choose to partake in the lighting of a christmas tree, singing Yuletide carols, wrapping and giving of presents, and belief in Santa Claus. Yes, these things may be based in Pagan ritual, however, these things have brought me joy throughout many many years. These things have brought my family closer together and closer to God. Whatever these things MAY have represented, so be it. To me, they represent "the most wonderful time of the year." If you choose to not celebrate the way I do, may you enjoy your life, your beliefs and your traditions with the same zeal and vigor that has brought me and mine so much joy.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas, but most of all I wish you and your loved ones Joy and Happiness all life long!

Word Verifier: The Gathering

Week 12: Dirty Dozen


Ready? GO!

First time visitors: The rules are simple. Go into my comments section, read your verification word and be creative. Each week I'll give just a bit of direction for the topic.

ENJOY!


J

Obligation

I didn't know what an obligation I had to the Bloggosphere. Jax, I will one day comment again on your site. I just never have anything to add to your posts...keep up the music, though.

My Chat Buddies (you know who you are)...my days are brighter when you are there. Because of that..Wednesdays now rule.

I still vote for Nekkid Chat Wednesdays.

A BRIEF update in my life: Women suck...but not in the good way. Work sucks, too.


Keep your fingers crossed....more to come.

Monday Monday

I had such a relaxing weekend, I decided not to blog until the day was nearly over. It was your typical Monday. The weekend was nice, too. I got together with some friends for food and drinks. Piddled around the house. Watched football.

Monday's still suck, but this one sucked less than usual.

Thanks for all the comments this weekend. I'm gonna get you all presents--generic, non-religious end of the callendar year presents.

T*G*I*mf'nF

Weekend outlook:

• Our coldest days this year are upon us.
  
  
• My lights MUST go up.
  
  
• My house is a disgrace. I have one, maybe two loads of laundry left, but the rest of the place is embarrassing. I wouldn't even let my college dorm buddies come over right now.
  
  
• Shopping....oh shit shopping. Right now, I have only shopped for one of 4 siblings and my father. It sucks when all your siblings live far away and their spouses NEVER put forth any effort to get to know you or stay in touch. Now I'm supposed to buy them something? A gift is supposed to come from the heart. I know my lunchlady at work better than I know my sister-in-law. She'll probably be insulted by my lack of effort in her gift, just like she did the year before they got married. She bought us all gifts and we didn't know she was even coming to Christmas. Then, my brother said, in front of the whole family, that she was feeling hurt cuz no one bought her anything...well, if she'd come hang out with us once in a while...or call...or write a friggin e-mail. I swear, the only e-mails I got from them all year was one saying they were safe from the hurricanes (a welcomed note), one with pictures of them in Halloween costume, and one with their Christmas Lists. Which is more than I can say for my sister who only e-mails me junk mail and chain letters. I have NO clue what she wants for Christmas. The one that makes me the saddest is my youngest sister. She DOES come to visit (well, mom and dad, but I live on the way and we have lunch and chat). Whenever I'm in her town (nearest big shopping town), I stop in and we chat. We are qutie close...but I am stumped for gift ideas.
  
  
• Women. All these cold nights and I have no one to keep me warm. I am sad that I lost J (the last girl, dated for 2 months). I know we don't need to be together, too many differences when push comes to shove. However, I miss the way she held me when we slept. I think she was the first woman I ever was able to fall asleep in her arms and not toss and turn ALL night. I miss cuddling on the couch watching movies. I miss random smiles and phone calls.
  
  
• Which leads me to the most important thing in my life. I shouldn't be here. This is not where I need to be. I need to be closer to a different culture. I don't fit in down here. I've tried to find opportunities to move and it seems that the better the opportunity, the more likely it is to have something come up and fall through. I miss my best friend. He moved back home to the Northeast after college. I want to be up there with him. I want to hang out and watch football and baseball with him.
  

Y'all have a great weekend. Stay warm! Come visit me!

Word Verifier: The Gathering

Week 11: Deck the Halls



Deck the halls with Gruff Gorillas.
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la.
Trim the tree with Yuletide Spinners.
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la.


Ready? GO!

First time visitors: The rules are simple. Go into my comments section, read your verification word and be creative. Each week I'll give just a bit of direction for the topic.

ENJOY!


J

Shout Out

Stichin' Bitch? Are you out there? I know you read this. You've let it slip. Make a comment once in a while! Sorry I missed your call last night. Out on the town with the gang...out way too late. Stayed sober, I swear. One drink only. I miss talking to you. I never stopped loving you. How far are you from Columbus, GA? Cleveland, OH?

Wow, a whole paragraph in my blog just for you. You ARE more special than all the other fish I've hooked. My bait is tasty, try it? The hook is not that sharp, I promise. I will let you have the live well all to yourself until we get to shore. You can stay in my big tank. I'll feed you every day.

I know you're not a bitch...but I thought the nick name was apropos. You know why. You are a great gal. Heck, it could've been worse. I could have called you SweeTits.

Shh..our little secret.

P.S. Yahoo theives suck my revolver.

P.P.S. I STILL have no Christmas Decorations up. I hope to get to that tonight. Brad will sit atop the tree and guard against theives. Alkelda will adorn the branches. Anyone else?

I really don't fish, silly!

I'm not sure if you all were so involved in the metaphor or you missed it completely so I'll break it down for you.

I'm now back on the singles' scene. My gal and I had some irreconcilable differences and from the tone of the last fight, I assume we are kaput.

I had a couple of dates this weekend. No chemistry what so ever.

I've been enjoying a lack of sleep the last couple of nights, however. Just as I was about to hoist my pole, I felt a nibble...er, I mean, I met a cool chick and we'be been chatting on the phone.

In other news. Work got the best of me yesterday. I didn't even get to sit at my desk until 4:30. I had to read all y'all's blogs last night while munching on my Burger King (aahhh, bachellorhood). I was too pooped to decorate. The tree MUST go up tonight. Anyone want to come help? Hot chocolate is on the menu!

Catch and Release

Well, I had a couple of bites at my hook, but I threw them back.

I think I'm gonna stay home and eat steak for a while...I think the fish aren't worth it.


Have a great weekend, Bloggers!

Gone Fishin'

Yup. I think I'm gonna grab the Captain, pack up the tackle.



Head to my favorite spot.



Who knows what might be there.



Plenty of fish in the sea. That's what they say.

Word Verifier: The Gathering

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10-week Anniversary

Well, it was 10 weeks ago today that I decided to host a gathering of silliness. We all had just started using the verification on our comments and began to notice that sometimes the collection of letters made words or seemed to imply something. We began to share with each other what we saw. Sometimes it was a sill word, sometimes it just looked dirrty, sometimes it put a smile on our face. Usually it was fun. I decided to try to influence the subject a wee bit, getting everything from excellent short stories from Alkelda to quick one-liners about enemas from Nonny.

Well, once again it is Thursday, and once again we shall meet up here at the Hideout to stretch our brains. Not gonna force anything that doesn't come naturally today. If you feel it, type it.

Ready? GO!

ENJOY!

J
PS There's another new post below this one. Ididn't want to take away from WV:TG. I'll re-order them tomorrow